memoir · nonfiction

Book Review: The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row by Anthony Ray Hinton with Lara Love Hardin

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The 2023 Pop Sugar Reading Challenge directed me to read a book from a celebrity book club list, and I was like a deer in the headlights for a moment. I’m not much of a celebrity watcher at all, and honestly, the only time I hear about celebrity book clubs are when other people bring them up, so I had to go digging. I’ve read some of Oprah’s selections in the past, and I’ve heard people talking about Reese Witherspoon’s book club, but that’s still really all I know. The lists I looked at, nothing really jumped out at me, until… I spotted The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row by Anthony Ray Hinton with Lara Love Hardin (St. Martin’s Press, 2018). This was an Oprah selection, and I immediately knew that this was something I had to read. This is one of the most incredible, painful books I’ve ever read about the American “justice” system.

Anthony Ray Hinton was a Black man in Alabama who signed in at work in a warehouse, plenty of people around him. That mattered nothing to the police, who accused him of three murders (one of which was committed during this time Mr. Hinton was at work, the others just tacked on because they were similar), and a jury, who convicted him. Failed over and over again by his court-appointed lawyer and the experts who weren’t as expert as they should’ve been, Ray, as he’s known, is sentenced to death by electric chair. 

Appeal after appeal falls through, and at first, Ray’s anger nearly eats him alive. But then he begins to apply the life lessons his beloved mother taught him to living in such terrible isolation on Death Row, and this change in attitude helps him survive. And then his case was taken up by Bryan Stevenson, of Just Mercy, himself…

Despite Mr. Stevenson, whom I’m convinced has been sent here to do God’s work on earth, finding experts (actual ones, three of them!) to prove that the gun the police pulled out of Ray’s mother’s house couldn’t possibly have been used in the murders Ray was convicted of, it still takes twelve years for Ray to be set free. In all, he spends nearly THIRTY YEARS waiting to be executed for a crime he didn’t commit, listening to his friends make their final walk down the hallway to be murdered by the guards in charge of the men’s everyday lives, smelling their burning flesh wafting on the air for hours after they’re put to death. If that doesn’t enrage you, I’m not sure what will.

This is an absolutely incredible, deeply enraging book. What the state of Alabama did to Mr. Hinton, how it destroyed his life and his family, with what seems like zero remorse, disgusts me to the very depths of my soul. That this is how poor Black men are treated in this country, even when their innocence is able to be proven, PROVEN, is utterly horrifying. Mr. Hinton’s experiences are shocking, but they’re not uncommon: one in every ten people sentenced to death in the United States is innocent. 

I’ll say that again.

One-tenth of the people murdered by the United States government are innocent of the crimes they were accused of.

That is a shocking statistic. If I weren’t already vehemently opposed to the death penalty before reading this, I would definitely be now. The fact that the state of Alabama stole thirty years of Mr. Hinton’s life without so much as an, “Oops, my bad,” and only doubled down, desperate to murder him even when stronger evidence from more qualified experts was presented that he couldn’t possibly have committed these murders, fills me with such rage that I desperately wish I were intelligent enough to become a lawyer and join Bryan Stevenson’s team. They deserve all the help they can get to do the noble work of saving lives from government-sanctioned murder.

This is an utterly incredible book, and I don’t think there was a single page I read that I didn’t want to scream or rage-vomit. I read books to learn about the world, to experience it through other people’s eyes, to feel. This book checks all three categories in spades. Five stars, and I truly hope Mr. Hinton is able to live a calm, quiet life of peace in the wake of such trauma.

Read more about Anthony Ray Hinton’s case at Bryan Stevenson’s Equal Justice Initiative.

Visit Lara Love Hardin’s website here.

fiction · romance

Book Review: How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days by K.M. Jackson

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I needed a book about or set in Hollywood for the 2023 Pop Sugar Reading Challenge, so in digging through my TBR, I found How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days by K.M. Jackson (Forever, 2021), a book that I’ve wanted to get to ever since it first came out. I love a good romance, even better if it involves a celebrity, and I do enjoy books about people’s obsessions, because they’re so relatable (I even find other people talking about their obsessions online – even when I don’t share them – charming! I love enthusiasm). Through no fault of its own, the book wasn’t quite the book for me, but it definitely has its charm.

Bethany Lu Carlisle is an artist who just can’t seem to settle down. She’s over 40 now and though her art is at least successful enough to support her (along with help from her wealthy family), she’s still flitting from thing to thing, spending a lot of time obsessing over her favorite actor, Keanu Reeves. Learning he’s about to be married is her record-scratch moment: what is she doing with her life? She should stop him, shouldn’t she, and maybe convince him to marry her?

With her lifelong best friend Truman, Lu goes on a series of adventures designed to put her in Keanu’s path, but somehow always missing the mark. Along the way, she and True have some parts of their relationship that they’ve been avoiding discussing for years to iron out, including their shared grief over the death of Lu’s brother long ago. With a string of celebrity cameos, How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days will bring together two soulmates – just not the ones you might expect.

I’m not sure exactly what didn’t work for me here. Despite her flaws, I liked Lu. She’s funny, dedicated to her art, aware of where she could be doing better in life, and goal-oriented, and I enjoyed her Keanu obsession. I liked True (despite his being an economist, haha). He’s so dedicated to Lu, setting up her Keanu search and helping her with every step. I liked the setting, I liked the plot, I loved the celebrity cameos (meeting Captain America in a bathroom, meeting Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa at a New Mexican campground, etc). But for whatever reason, reading this just felt more like a chore than it did a fun experience. I don’t know if I didn’t connect well with the writing style – there’s nothing wrong with it, it just didn’t reach out and grab me – or what, but this wasn’t the book for me.

I’m forever grateful to Anne Bogel of the What Should I Read Next? podcast, who taught me that not every book is for every reader, that we’re not going to form strong connections to every book, and that’s fine. The relief I felt upon learning this, upon hearing her put this out into the world, was enough to make me weep when I first heard it years ago. It doesn’t mean the book is bad or that you’re a lesser person for not enjoying it, it just means that wasn’t the book for you. And that’s fine. And this wasn’t the book for me, and that’s fine, too. Live and learn. : )

Visit K.M. Jackson’s website here.

Follow her on Twitter here.

fiction · middle grade

Book Review: The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits, and a Very Interesting Boy by Jeanne Birdsall

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I don’t always review the books I read out loud to my daughter, but in this case, I’ll make an exception. I needed a book with a rabbit on the cover, and one of the suggestions for that was The Penderwicks: A Summer Tale of Four Sisters, Two Rabbits, and a Very Interesting Boy by Jeanne Birdsall (Yearling, 2005). The Penderwick books are all over homeschooling blogs and book lists. I’d never read any of them before and missed them with my older child when we were homeschooling, so when I realized this was a Pop Sugar Reading Challenge option, I went, “Okay, let’s try this.” And it took me a bit, but I ended up falling in love with this book.

It’s summer vacation, and after a change in plans, the four Penderwick sisters – Rosalind, Skye, Jane, and Batty – are off with their father to a cottage on the Arundel estate. What’s supposed to be a relaxing time ends up chock-full of unexpected adventures. Jeffrey Tifton, the son of the owner, fits right in with the girls, despite his awful, snooty mother who’s determined to send him to military boarding school in order to turn him into her military father. Teenage gardener Cagney is just dreamy enough for twelve-year-old Rosalind to develop her first crush. Four-year-old Batty, well-meaning but prone to chaos, sets everyone off on wild goose chases multiple times, and Skye and Jane have goals and adventures of their own. It’s a summer to be remembered for all the Penderwick sisters, and Arundel is the perfect setting for them.

I can’t quite place my finger on why it took me a bit to get into this, but even up to about two-thirds of the way through, I was like, “Ehhhhh, it’s fine, it’s just not for me.” And then, suddenly, it clicked, and the full charm of the book hit me in the face like a two-by-four. I really enjoyed this; Ms. Birdsall has made all of the sisters unique in personality, but they still all work well together. The setting is idyllic; the estate is large and full of wonderful nature and places to explore (and get into trouble! There’s LOTS of trouble in this book, which makes it so much fun). Jeffrey fits right in with the sisters, and they involve themselves in the standoff with his awful mother immediately, which I loved. 

How much did I love this book? We’ve since finished the second and are a third of the way into the third book of the series! I deeply enjoyed Ms. Birdsall’s illustration of the complexities of sister relationships and growing up, and my daughter loved this as well. I’m looking forward to reading all her other Penderwick books and seeing how the sisters grow. 

Visit Jeanne Birdsall’s website here.

memoir · nonfiction

Book Review: Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult by Michelle Dowd

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Browsing through NetGalley a while back, I found a book that basically had my name on it in flashing neon signs. It combined multiple interests of mine, and though it took a while, I was finally approved, and I was thrilled. Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult by Michelle Dowd (Algonquin Books, 2023) called my name from the moment I read the title, and I was correct: this book was a deeply engaging read, mining into a childhood filled with chaos, dystopian theology, and a love of nature that has remained with its author through her escape from the cult that created her.

Michelle Dowd was raised in California in her grandfather’s group known as The Field (which still exists today, but, under different leadership, is drastically different from the group in which Ms. Dowd grew up). The end of the world was nigh; group members would need to learn how to survive in the coming apocalypse, so Michelle, who received only three years of education at a public school, learned early on how to live off of what the earth could provide. Pine nuts, roots, berries, leaves, needles, bark, Michelle learned how to use them all. This education was the only form of affection her mother gave her; The Field taught that any kind of affection was wrong and unnecessary, and thus Michelle grows up starved for love, attention, food, and education, though her obvious intelligence is never in question.

An autoimmune disorder hospitalizes Michelle for months at a time; The Field states it’s because she’s an unfaithful Jezebel, her father never visits, and her mother blames her, with helpful statements such as, “Why are you doing this to me?” Throughout all of the chaos of her childhood – the physical and sexual abuse, the educational neglect, the lack of affection, the malnutrition, the illness, the anorexia and self-harm, the poverty, the persistent terror of eschatological theology preached by all the adults in her life – nature is her one constant, and it carries Michelle through to her eventual escape into the world she’d been made to fear her entire life.

Forager is a beautifully written memoir, and turning such suffering and fear into beauty is no easy task. It’s Educated-meets-I Want to Be Left Behind, and it’s utterly stunning in not just the depths of depravity in which Ms. Dowd was raised, but the constant unfolding knowledge of how far she had to climb to escape, a process not fully detailed (dare I hope for a second memoir from Ms. Dowd?), but one alluded to have taken years. Deconstruction and rebuilding is a difficult process and one that must’ve been especially challenging for a person raised in The Field. This book left me stunned, grateful for Ms. Dowd’s survival, and deeply concerned for other members – current and former – of this group.  

Interspersed between the chapters are field notes on different plants that provide a little insight into the knowledge of the nature around her that Ms. Dowd absorbed as a child. The pictures she paints of the plants and trees that helped her survive and the way she describes the comfort she finds in nature and her ability to navigate it temper the intense descriptions of abuse, neglect, and apathy she grew up with. Like most memoirs that deal with heavy abuse, Forager can be tough to read at times, but ultimately, it’s well-balanced and will leave readers in awe of the strength it takes to survive a childhood like this one. 

Huge thanks to NetGalley, Algonquin Books, and Michelle Dowd for allowing me to read and review an early copy. Forager is available for purchase March 7, 2023. 

Visit Michelle Dowd’s website here.

Follow her on Twitter here.

fiction · romance · romantic comedy

Book Review: Getting Rid of Bradley by Jennifer Crusie

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A book about divorce? Sure! Next on the 2023 Pop Sugar Reading Challenge comes an older book from a favorite of mine: Getting Rid of Bradley by Jennifer Crusie (MIRA, 1994). I’ve loved everything I’ve ever read from Ms. Cruise, and this was no different. She has a knack for humor, intrigue, mystery, quirky characters who aren’t overdone, and turning tense situations into something a little funny, a little sexy, and a little ridiculous without being over-the-top. And dogs. Her books always have the best dogs.

Lucy Savage’s divorce from her husband Bradley has finally gone through, and she’s vowed to become a new person: independent, more spontaneous, more fun. Beating up what turns out to be a cop isn’t exactly her definition of those words, but as it turns, Officer Zack Warren was trying to save her from someone who’s trying to kill her. What does her boring banker ex-husband have to do with this? Lucy’s not sure, plus there’s another Bradley involved in this, but sparks start to fly when Zack moves into her house to provide 24-hour protection.

When her car blows up (how Jennifer Crusie made me laugh during this scene is a testament to her ability as a writer!), followed by her bed, things get serious…and things heat up between Lucy and Zack. It’s a warp-speed romance and a mystery all in one, but Zack and his partner will take down both Bradleys, and Lucy will get what she wants in the end.

This was SO much fun. Dated just a little, as it was originally published in 1994 and I think there are a few lines that wouldn’t fly in today’s romance, but it’s still a really solid romance. (And while I wouldn’t necessarily pick up a romance with a police officer these days – just not my thing – I made an exception for this one, since it was older and I enjoy the author.) Lucy is fun, determined, and just the right amount of dismissive of Zack at first. Zack is a little world-weary at first, but he’s absolutely smitten with Lucy from the start, going from a committed bachelor to ready to propose in days. It makes for a fun pairing, and Ms. Crusie is a master of chemistry between her characters.

And the dogs. Dogs who do jokes. Dogs who fully understand their humans. New dogs who join the pack and fit right in. I love Jennifer Crusie’s dogs. 

This was a really enjoyable read and I really should make it my business to get to all those Jennifer Crusie novels I haven’t tackled yet.

Visit Jennifer Crusie’s website here.

fiction

Book Review: Love your Life by Sophie Kinsella

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Next up for the 2023 Pop Sugar Reading Challenge: a book with a pet character. So many books I read could fit in here, but I chose Love Your Life by Sophie Kinsella (Dial Press, 2020). It’s been a while since I read one of Ms. Kinsella’s books, so I figured I was past due to get lost in one of her books again. 

Ava’s dating life is not going well, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to succumb to the cold, clinical grasp of the algorithm of dating apps like her friend – she believes in follow her heart, finding love and chemistry the regular way. She’s more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of gal, which doesn’t always translate well into accomplishing all the many goals she’s set for herself. On a writer’s retreat to Italy (leaving her beloved-but-mischievous dog Harold in the care of her friends), Ava meets ‘Dutch’ (everyone is asked to choose an alias; Ava goes by ‘Aria’), a handsome straggler from a canceled martial arts retreat. The two quickly fall for each other, all the while adhering to the retreat rules: no names, no personal information. Ava knows she’s got it right: she and Dutch are perfect. No baggage, just chemistry.

But when the retreat ends and real life comes slamming back, things aren’t *quite* so perfect. Dutch is actually Matt, the overworked heir to his family’s internationally successful dollhouse company. His parents are stodgy and dislike Ava, Matt has creepy taste in art, Ava’s quirkiness winds him in the ER, and Harold’s mischievousness? YIKES. That chemistry is still there, but what does it matter when the rest of their lives don’t exactly line up? Ava and Matt will have to figure out how to compromise if they want things to be like they were in Italy.

Ava’s way more fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants than I would ever be comfortable with, and I think that’s why I had a bit of a tough time getting into this at first. She’s flighty, can’t commit fully to the zillions of projects she takes on, and is way more about feelings (and making excuses, and lying to herself) than I feel comfortable with. I wasn’t super into her hooking up with Dutch at the writer’s retreat (GIRL, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM. HE COULD BE A SERIAL KILLER), but I kept going to see where the book would go. Sophie Kinsella is a solid writer and I’ve enjoyed her in the past, so that helped.

What I really loved were the friend groups. Both Ava and Matt have amazingly supportive friend groups who were a lot of fun to read, and they truly pulled me into the novel. The ending is pretty perfect – no spoilers – but man, I wish I had a friend group like these. 

Fun read. Not my favorite of the year, but a solid choice if you’re looking for a little romance with a healthy dose of reality and compromise.

Visit Sophie Kinsella’s website here.

Follow her on Twitter here.

memoir · nonfiction

Book Review: As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from The Making of The Princess Bride by Cary Elwes with Joe Layden

Stephanie2 Comments

A book based on a popular movie??? That was a prompt I needed to fill for the 2023 Pop Sugar Reading Challenge, and…I wasn’t quite sure what to do with that at first. I’m not really about novelizations, so it seemed as though this would be a tough one to fill. But then a list of suggestions featured As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride by Cary Elwes with Joe Layden (Atria Books, 2014). Who DOESN’T love that movie??? I’d heard of the book and had always wanted to read it, but hadn’t gotten around to it, so this was the perfect opportunity. And it turned out to be an excellent book! 

The Princess Bride didn’t actually do all that well at the box office, but once it came out on video, its popularity exploded, turning it into the cult classic that people still quote from constantly. In this book, actor Cary Elwes, who played Westley, spills the secrets of the making of the film, from the nerves of the actors who auditioned for it, the mishaps on set (including Elwes’s own broken toe!), to the improbability of the movie ever having gotten made in the first place – I had no idea that others had attempted to make this film before, but that it had always fallen apart before filming started. No one was quite sure how to film such a beloved, yet complex story.

From the very first moments of director Rob Reiner putting together a cast, to the 30th reunion party, Cary Elwes describes all the ups and downs on set. Wallace Shawn’s nerves about his inability to play Vizzini, Andre the Giant’s gentle personality, health struggles, and awareness that he likely wouldn’t live a long life, the laughter Billy Crystal brought to the set as Miracle Max, it’s all here on these pages, and you’ll experience it all with this outstanding cast.

What a fun, fun read. I felt like I was there on the set, wearing Robin Wright’s fireproof dress, going through hours upon hours of fencing training with Cary Elwes and Mandy Patinkin, sweating in an ROUS costume in the hot summer sun. It seemed that the actors knew – despite what the box office numbers originally told them – that they were creating something really special, and the joy they experienced while making this movie is evident in Elwes’s writing. This is an absolute gem of a book, and if you’ve ever enjoyed watching The Princess Bride, you’ll love this book. 

Follow Cary Elwes on Twitter here.

Monthly roundup

Monthly Roundup: February 2023

StephanieLeave a comment

Hello, March! The weather is still cold and gross (despite our lack of decent snow this winter, booooooooo), and it’s going to stay that way for a few months, but with the turn of this calendar page, spring and summer and sun and warmer weather feel as though they’re within reach. Brighter days are coming, in more ways than one, and I’m so excited! Long summer days of reading on the porch are in sight!

We’ve got some great things cooking up here locally, and I’ll get more into that below, but excitement levels are at fever pitch here and will remain so for several months. Reading has gone really, really well around here lately; I’m blasting through the 2023 Pop Sugar Reading Challenge and having so much fun doing so. While I’m nowhere near being done yet, I likely won’t finish completely until we’re on summer break. One of the prompts is to read the longest book on your TBR, and my longest book is something like 700-800 pages, so I’m saving that for when I have fewer things on my plate. ANYHOODLE…

Let’s get this recap started, shall we?

Books I Read in February 2023

1. One True Loves by Taylor Jenkins Reid

2. Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult by Michelle Dowd (review to come)

3. Hidden Figures (Young Readers’ Edition) by Margot Lee Shetterly (no review; read out loud to my daughter)

4. Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe (no review)

5. Unorthodox Love by Heidi Shertok (review to come)

6. Astronauts: Women on the Final Frontier by Jim Ottaviani and Maris Wicks (no review; read out loud to my daughter)

7. Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young

8. Funny You Should Ask by Elissa Sussman

9. Lovingly Abused by Heather Grace Heath 

10. Horrible Histories: France by Terry Deary (no review; read out loud to my daughter)

11. Disaster Strikes!: The Most Dangerous Space Missions of All Time by Jeffrey Kluger (no review; read out loud to my daughter)

12. As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride by Cary Elwes (review to come)

13. Love Your Life by Sophie Kinsella (review to come)

14. Muhammad Najem, War Reporter by Muhammad Najem, Nora Neus, and Julie Robine (no review)

15. Getting Rid of Bradley by Jennifer Crusie (review to come)

16. The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall (review to come)

17. Check, Please! Book 2: Sticks and Scones by Ngozi Ukazu (no review)

18. How to Marry Keanu Reeves in 90 Days by K.M. Jackson (review to come)

19. The Sun Does Shine: How I Found Life and Freedom on Death Row by Anthony Ray Hinton with Lara Love Hardin (review to come)

20. Black Boy by Richard Wright (no review)

That’s a pretty good month of reading! Been doing my best to read mostly from my Pop Sugar Reading Challenges, but I do let a few others slip in here and there, variety being the spice of life and all. Really great month for reading out loud to my daughter! I don’t add everything I read to her; most of what we read for school doesn’t make the list, but I do add the books we read at bedtime and the longer chapter books we read for school (rule of thumb: if it’s something I would read on my own, I add it. I didn’t add, for example, the Magic Tree House books she and I read for her language arts curriculum this month). Five major read-alouds this month; that’s awesome!

Nine fiction; eleven nonfiction; three graphic novels/nonfiction. Eight of these books were read for the 2023 Pop Sugar Reading Challenge. Four came from my TBR. 

Reading Challenge Updates

Looks like I’m at 22 books so far for the 2023 Pop Sugar Reading Challenge! Not quite halfway done, but I’m making excellent progress and reading a lot of really great books along the way. Here’s what my sheet looks like right now:

Moving right along!

State of the Goodreads TBR

So, with the Pop Sugar Reading Challenge, I’m not making quite as much progress on my TBR as I would like, but that’s okay. It’s a worthy tradeoff. Last month, my TBR stood at 125 books; as of right now, I’m at…123 books. Slow progress is still progress!

Books I Acquired in February 2023

I don’t think I got any books for me this month. I did pick up a few for my daughter from a thrift store, including two combination social studies textbook/workbooks for fourth and fifth grade that I’m excited about using, a graphic novel called Becoming Brianna by Terri Libenson that looked like something she’d enjoy (I’ll probably end up reading this at some point), and wonder of wonders, The Little Gymnast by Sheila Haigh, which I was OBSESSED with as a kid! I can’t wait to read this out loud to her. We also grabbed two Magic Tree House books from a Little Free Library.

Bookish Things I Did in February 2023

Nothing! 

Current Podcast Love

Still listening to the same things as last month:

Leaving Eden and Digging Up the Duggars while I exercise or craft;

The First Degree when I’m falling asleep.

I have so many more bookmarked, but just not enough time!

Stephanie’s Read Harder Challenge

I finished with Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe, which was interesting from a historical perspective, but not all that wonderful as a book (dated, still horrific racial attitudes even from the ‘good guys,’ oozing with Christian propaganda at every turn which, as a Jew, is just kind of tiresome to read), and I moved on to Black Boy by Richard Wright. I finished that yesterday, and next I’ll hit up a book of short stories by Flannery O’Connor that has been staring accusingly at me from the basement shelves for far too long.

Real Life Stuff

It’s HERE!

THE BIG MOVE!!!!

Not for me, nor this blog. I’m staying put in all my various homes. But…

OUR LIBRARY!!!!

So, when we first moved to this town, there was a lot going on regarding our library. The building was old, out of date, and in need of massive repairs. It also needed an entirely new HVAC system (plenty of times, the library would have to close during the summer because the AC broke down and it would be something like 85 degrees in there. I always felt *so* bad for the librarians and workers on the days they were still open and it was just SO stuffy in there). The library offered seminars and tours, telling and showing our community what needed to be fixed/redone, WHY, and how much it would cost the village, and then showed them why an entirely new building was actually the more financially responsible choice for the long term. And then it was put on the ballot during an election, and it passed!

And then things stalled. 

And stalled.

And stalled.

People argued. The park district (on whose land the current library sits) threw a fit. Social media boiled with people bickering about how, since THEY didn’t use the library, obviously NO ONE used the library, so why did THEY have to pay for a new one? (Even before the pandemic, our library would often get uncomfortably crowded. Obnoxiously so.) Plans for a new library site happened and fell through; contracts were made, then broken. It was all so much drama that didn’t need to happen, but finally, FINALLY a building site was procured, the abandoned grocery store that had once stood at that site (and had begun to crumble, and had long been an eyesore for the town – so you KNOW some people threw a fit about it being demolished!) was torn down, and construction began (and you KNOW those same people threw whiny toddler fits about the completion date changing, because God knows construction delays have never, ever happened before in the history of construction and this must be some sort of government conspiracy to make us all pay more in taxes and not, say, a global pandemic affecting the availability of materials, and aren’t you glad Bob is here on social media to tell you all the truth??? Can you HEAR my eyerolls???)

And now, finally, construction is nearly completed! The old library’s last day of operation is March 8th, and moving to the new building, which is just around the corner and down two or three blocks from the old, is set to start March 13th. The library will cease physical operations during the move, and barring any delays, will reopen April 22-23rd. During that time, they’ll still offer ebooks, and due dates will be suspended (so you KNOW we have a massive stack of schoolbooks checked out!), so we have to hang on to everything we have checked out, just like we did when the pandemic started.

The good thing is that first off, our library cards work at other local libraries – some because I registered our cards there, and others because our library is a member of their system, so they automatically offer reciprocal borrowing privileges. And since I knew this was coming, I arranged our homeschool year so that basically all we need now are books that come from other libraries near us! So this will cause us absolutely zero stress or sweat; we’ll happily read what we have and make use of other libraries until our brand-spanking–new library building opens up just a few days before my daughter’s birthday. What a great birthday gift, eh?

So THAT’S why we’re all so excited around here! When the time comes, I’ll take a picture in the new library and start using that for my monthly roundup posts. The one I’ve been using has served me well, but it’s time to move on.

That’s the big news around here. We’ve had a few get-togethers with family recently; we’re relaxing our precautions a *little* bit, but still keeping our circle small. My daughter had a sleepover with a friend, and she ended up with a runny nose afterwards, which she’s utterly furious about, so…sleepovers may be put on the back burner for a while; I don’t think she’s fully ready to handle them yet. But that’s fine. More sleep for us!

That’s about all I’ve got right now. Wish our library workers luck for a safe and delay-free move, and stay safe and healthy, my friends. : )

memoir · nonfiction

Book Review: Lovingly Abused: A True Story of Overcoming Cults, Gaslighting, and Legal Educational Neglect by Heather Grace Heath

Stephanie1 Comment

One of the podcasts I’ve been making my way through, usually when I cross-stitch or exercise, is Leaving Eden, which tells the story of Sadie Carpenter’s life in and exit from the IFB (Independent Fundamental Baptist) cult. I fired it up a few weeks ago and listened to an episode that featured Heather Grace Heath, known on TikTok as @backsliddenharlot. She came out of IBLP (the Institute in Basic Life Principles) and ATI (Advanced Training Institute), an offshoot of the IFB that you may be familiar with due to the fact that the Duggar family also belongs to this cult, and she wrote a book, Lovingly Abused: A True Story of Overcoming Cults, Gaslighting, and Legal Educational Neglect (Kindle, 2021), that was on my TBR. I did a quick search, found a library in the state had a copy, and requested it via Interlibrary Loan. A few days later, I picked it up and started reading.

Trigger warnings for physical and sexual abuse, incest, and religious abuse.

Heather’s family didn’t join ATI until she was a little older (she wasn’t *quite* born into it), but her parents were a perfect target for this predatory group. Abuse ran rampant on both sides, and her mother’s anxiety made homeschooling seem like the perfect solution to never letting Heather out of her sight. The “education” Heather gets from Bill Gothard’s Wisdom booklets is horrifyingly inadequate, from its misinformation on just about everything, to its lack of information on things children actually need to know, to its inappropriateness in so many ways, straight to its charts on all the ways victims of rape and sexual abuse are at fault for the crimes perpetrated against them. (And remember, these are all-age booklets. You’re supposed to teach these to your six-year-old sitting right next to your fifteen-year-old.) Not only did this leave Heather with massive educational gaps, it gifted her massive anxiety, fear, and terror. 

The many kinds of abuse Heather suffers turns into trauma, which follows her as she grows, but becoming an EMT serves as an outlet for her stress, and through this, she learns more about the world outside the cult and that it’s nowhere near as terrible as she’s been taught. Slowly, slowly, she makes her way out and begins to shed the years of misinformation fed to her by ATI and Bill Gothard, and becomes someone who helps to shine a light on this dangerous group. 

Fascinating book. While the writing isn’t as polished as you would expect a traditionally published book to be, the information inside is incredibly valuable. Heather is throwing the curtains back on the severe educational neglect perpetrated by these Christian homeschool cults (and yes, she did know the Duggars and mentions them a few times). These cults and ATI in particular promotes sheltering your children from the world as a feature (making it all the much more difficult for them to leave this cult, because their lack of knowledge about the outside world is close to zero), and the lack of actual education Heather describes is nothing short of grotesque. Her book is a plea for more regulation of homeschooling so that no other child suffers the same legal educational neglect her parents foisted upon her (while thinking they were doing the right thing). High five to her for mentioning The Vashti Initiative, the nonprofit I do volunteer work for!

Phew. This book is a lot, but I’m so proud of Heather for writing it and for putting it out there in the world. It’s an absolute force that I think will be so incredibly helpful to other survivors.

Visit Heather Grace Heath’s website here.

Check out her TikTok here.

fiction · romance

Book Review: Funny You Should Ask by Elissa Sussmann

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Moving along in the 2023 Pop Sugar Reading Challenge! I needed a #BookTok recommendation, and as I’m not on TikTok, I had to rely on lists others made. Which worked out well, because Funny You Should Ask by Elissa Sussman (Dell, 2022) was one of the books recommended on there, and it was also a book from my own TBR. Now, I’ve been trying to get a copy of this book from the library since it came out, but every time I looked, it was checked out. I love that so many people in my town read and have similar tastes as me! But this time, it was finally in, so into my bag it went.

Funny You Should Ask tells the story of writer Chani Horowitz and actor Gabe Parker. Ten years ago, Chani and Greg spent a weekend together so she could write an article about Gabe. That article went viral, and questions have lingered ever since about what really went on between the two of them. It was also the article that launched Chani’s more successful career as a writer, so she’s always had that tie to him. Ten years later, Gabe is back in Chani’s life, because now she’s doing a follow-up article.

And things between them are the same, and different. They’ve aged, matured, moved on in their careers, changed as people. Gabe is now two years sober. Chani’s angry that the rumors about what they did won’t die. But the chemistry between them is still the same, and Gabe is determined to set things right. 

Despite all my wait for this book, it was just…kind of okay for me. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. It contains one of my favorite tropes, celebrity-falls-in-love-with-normal-person. There’s an awesome dog. Although I was uncomfortable with Gabe’s obvious alcoholism in the ten-years-ago parts, I still liked him as a hero. Chani’s determination to make it as a writer struck a chord with me, and I enjoyed the various settings of the book (I’ve never once read a book before this one that actually made me want to visit Montana, so that’s something.). There wasn’t anything distinct that I could put my finger on, but something just didn’t completely work for me, and I think this is just a case of ‘not every book is meant for every reader.’ And that’s fine. This is also happening in the book I’m reading now. Nothing wrong with it; just not for me.

It happens! 

But even if it wasn’t quite the book for me, it might be the one for you. : )

Visit Elissa Sussman’s website here.