A few months ago, a friend of mine mentioned she was reading All the Living and the Dead by Hayley Campbell (St. Martin’s Press, 2022), and her description of the book intrigued me. I’ve read Mary Roach and Caitlin Doughty and found them both fascinating in different ways, so this book, about the death industry and the people who work in it, seemed right up my alley. And it was! But be warned: this book feels a lot heavier than those by Roach and Doughty.
Trigger warnings for (unsurprisingly) a whole lot of mentions of death via various causes, including illness, accident, and mass tragedy. MAJOR content warnings for death of infants, including one specific infant whose death and subsequent postmortem procedures stuck with the author, and a chapter about a specialized midwife whose job it is to deliver babies who aren’t going to survive. PLEASE be aware of this before you read, and if there’s any reason this may be too much for you at this time, be good to yourself and read a different book. This was heavy for me to read, and I’m usually pretty tough when it comes to reading the tougher stuff.
Journalist Hayley Campbell embarks on a journey to discover the realities of those who work closely with death. From detectives to crime scene cleaners, embalmers and cremators, gravediggers and cryonic preservers, researchers and bereavement midwives, she interviews, participates, researches, learns, and comes to understand what the lives are like of those whose daily lives are centered around death. Some of these folks always wanted to go into the fields they’re in; others seemingly stumbled there. Some are bitter and jaded by their profession; others have developed an almost otherworldly sense of compassion. The differences are curious and thought-provoking.
Along the way, Hayley Campbell witnesses autopsies and cremations, deals with a lot of stress and questions surrounding the western cultural attitude toward death, and learns about herself and what she’s capable of handling.
Whew, this was a heavy, heavy book. Some of the folks Ms. Campbell followed have been deeply affected by their work, to the point of bitterness and anger, and I felt bad for them. Anyone dealing with death on a daily basis has a tough job, and these people really seemed to struggle with both that and a lack of fulfillment (which is understandable. Their services are absolutely necessary, but seeing what they see, I get it). The chapters where Ms. Campbell includes description of an infant’s autopsy (and the subsequent mentions of this in later chapters, because even she struggled after a certain incident when the technician stepped out of the room; I won’t get into descriptions here) and her interview with the bereavement midwife (a specialty I’d never even heard of until reading this book) are a LOT, and they’re things that will stick with me forever. This book has definitely given me a more expansive respect for the people who work with the dead in all aspects.
Incredible book, but be aware of your mental state before diving in, and take breaks or step away if it’s too much.