
For one of my final selections for the 2023 Pop Sugar Reading Challenge, I had to read something that was self-published. I had to dig a bit to figure out what I wanted to read, but eventually I stumbled upon Only When It’s Us by Chloe Liese (self-published, 2020), and I figured I could use a good romance novel to lighten things up.
College soccer star Willa Sutter is struggling with her business math (I think it was) course. Instead of helping her like a normal person, her professor demands that she get the notes from Ryder, the lumberjack-looking dude who sits next to her and who has been steadily ignoring her all semester. Willa’s not thrilled about this, but she knows that in order to keep her place on the team and become the next big women’s soccer star, she’s going to have to suck it up and ask Ryder for help. Also, her mom is in the process of dying, so life is just an all-around shitshow right now.
Ryder is sick and tired of his professor brother-in-law meddling in his life. A bout with meningitis freshman year has left him mostly deaf, and since he’s still figuring out hearing aids, things are a little complicated. His family is extremely accommodating, however, texting with him constantly, even when in person, in order to make sure he’s included. Ryder hasn’t spoken since his illness, though, and now that he’s supposed to be working with Willa, life has gotten a lot more complicated. The two of them have chemistry, sure, but they can’t seem to channel it into anything functional. Just arguments.
But over time, Willa and Ryder grow closer, the two of them realizing they’re a good match for each other, but old habits die hard, and it’s difficult for both of them to let the other in. But slowly, slowly, in the slowest of slow burns possible, they get to where we all knew they’d end up in the first place.
This was a bit of a slog for me, to be honest. I felt like it stretched on way longer than it needed to be, and Willa and Ryder’s banter didn’t do anything for me. I felt like it was trying really hard to be sexy and cute and for me it was just kind of annoying. Willa had issues with her dad walking out, and her mom was dying but she just never spoke about it? (And this was another one of those stories where the main character is a college student and needs to study, has a job, is the team’s star player and thus needs to be going to practice and games and working out all the time, and her mom is actively dying in the hospital, and, like…none of this stuff happens with the frequency that you’d expect? There are games and an occasional practice, and some study sessions with Ryder here and there, but Willa’s schedule doesn’t seem to be nearly as crammed full as one might suspect for a working student athlete who has a dying parent. And I realize this verges on the territory of, “No one on TV ever uses the bathroom!”, but it didn’t seem realistic to me how often Willa had down time.)
I wasn’t much feeling the chemistry between Willa and Ryder either. Ryder was just a little too perfect, and Willa could be so prickly that it got annoying (and despite their budding relationship, Ryder didn’t learn about Willa’s dying mother until really far into the story, which felt odd and not super realistic). To be honest, I was kinda glad when this was done. A lot of people really liked this, though, and it wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t for me, and that’s fine. Some books are like that. : )








